Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 28, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

11:35 pm
appreciate your time. >> jimmy kimmle >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- armie hammer from "another period", natasha leggero and music from big talk with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [cheers and applause]
11:36 pm
>> jimmy: appreciate that. hi, everybody. i'm the host of the show. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: you know, i have to say, it's kind of a weird thing. you guys come to what is essentially my place, and then i make you clap for me. for those of you who are visiting, welcome to los angeles, new possible home of the 2024 olympic games. you have been following what's going on for our bid for the olympics? in january, the committee chose, and the mayors took the leaders around. and ultimately, they picked boston as the strongest candidate in the united states. but yesterday, the u.s. oc's announcing they're withdrawing boston's bid to host the games.
11:37 pm
[cheers and applause] >> jimmy: from boston i assume? all the people from boston i know would love to have a bunch of foreigners in their town. they're welcoming, but scott blackman said we have not been able to get a majority of the citizens of boston to support hosting the 2024 olympic and pair limb p olympic games. the only thing they support is throwing beer bottles at yankees fans, and it's hard to get everyone together. this means the usoc has to come up with another city from the united states to bid against paris, rome, toronto, most people think that city will be los angeles -- [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: -- which is exciting. the summer olympics could bring some much-needed traffic to the l.a. area. [ laughter ] i have to say as a los angelie
11:38 pm
know myself, they are coming back us to now that boston isn't interested? what are we, justin bieber and selena gomez? [cheers and applause] i don't understand this. hey, boston, stop sending us the crap you don't want, first matt damon, now this. we've had enough, right, guillermo? enough, enough. >> jimmy: this is kind of funny. this is from the pan-american games. there's a man named cam awesome. he submitted to an intervi viin. even though he lost he made a good job of being upbeat. >> i thought i looked amazing, and i thought won the first round, and i was, like, oh, he's going to bring some more the second round. oh, i won that round as well.
11:39 pm
cam, keep up the good work. you look amazing. i'm not saying i'm the super boxing. >> jimmy: i don't even know what that means. but the interview got better from there. >> what was so tough about roho? >> he's a very good fighter. i juice it up. didn't really affect me that much. i thought i looked amazing. i would have given myself that fight if i was a judge. but i would say hey, cam, you're so fast. you're in the ring, keep up the good work. >> jimmy: he's his own life coach. cam awesome. his real name is len roy, leroy
11:40 pm
with a "n." is our, i should say was, cecil the lion. beautiful animal. he'd been wearing a gps collar as part of an oxford university project. they'd been tracking him for years, and during that time, cecil became a local favorite amongst the tourists and people he was around. people loved to see him on safaris until early this month when a tourist shot him for sport. i happened upon this story. and the news report said they suspected it was a spaniard who did it. i had to say i was so relieved it wasn't an american. i was, like, this is terrible. but thank god wasn't one of us for once f. and then i went online and found out it was an american, a dentist from minnesota who paid $50,000 to shoot the lion. according to the new, he hired a company, he flew to zimbabwe.
11:41 pm
two locals took him to the park. they tied a dead animal to the rear of the vehicle to attract the lion. and the dentist shot cecil with a bow and arrow. but they didn't kill him. 48 hours later they shot him with a gun, skinned him, took the head and left the body there. the researchers were able to trace the signal and find the carcass, and local authorities found the hunters who say they realized too late that they shot an animal with gps. they tried to destroy the tracking collar but failed to do that. the american hunter, walt palmer, is in hiding and closed his dental office in bloomington, minnesota and e-mailed a same to the news saying i had no idea that the lion i took was a known local feverity until the end of the hunt. stop saying you took the lion.
11:42 pm
you take aspirin. you killed the lion. he said to my knowledge everything was legal and properly handled. i relied on the expertise of my local guides. okay let's say we accept at face value, the question is, why are you shooting a lion in the first place? i'm honestly curious to know why a human being would feel compelled to do that. why is that fun? is it that difficult ere you would save yourself as being the most hated man in america who never advertised jell-o pudding on television. and by the way, i'm not against hunting if you're hunting to eat
11:43 pm
or help keep the animal population healthy or part of your culture, but if you're some a-hole dentist who wants a lion's head over the fireplace so his deutsc-s his buddies can around it. here he is with a bear. he got a year probation for that. this is another lion i killed in 2008. this is a leopard. this is a rhino. he killed like half of noah's ark. and i doechbn't get t some peop are saying we should skin him and feed him to the lions. it's crazy. but it should be handled in a lawful way. and the men who took him out in the jeep should be held accountable too. but in the meantime, i think there's some good that should
11:44 pm
come out of this. so this is the web site for oxford, these are the researchers who put the collar on cecil in the first place. they track the animals. if you want to do something and make this into a positive, you can, sorry, i, i, okay. i'm good. make a donation to support them. at the very least, maybe we can show the world that not all americans are like this jack hole here, this dentist. [ applause ] right, guillermo? all right, let's take a break. we're going to take a break. when we come back, we're going to take quite a turn. you know, we've got a very provocative edition of our pedestrian question. we asked people if they have nude pictures of themselves on their cell phones, and we'll see what happens. so we'll be right back. [cheers and applause]
11:45 pm
♪ >> dicky: abc's jimmy kimmel live brought to you by volkswagen. this is the model rear end event. the model year end sales event. it's year end! it's a rear end event. year end, rear end, check it out. talk about turbocharging my engine. you're gorgeous. what kind of car do you like? new, or many miles on it? get a $1000 volkswagen reward card on select 2015 passat models. or lease a 2015 passat limited edition for $199 a month after a $1000 bonus. iand sometimes, an even longer night. helping with homework before doing your own. and you may think no one notices... but she does. she sees more than "mom," she sees determination. we asked people if they have 4, we've designed an education
11:46 pm
for people just like you. learn more at phoenix.edu. you need to eat this special. ♪ start your day... with 150 nourishing calories in a bowl of special k. eat special, feel special. ♪ come on, come on, come on, let me tell you what it's all about. ♪ ♪ a-b-c, it's easy as 1-2-3. as simple as do-re-mi, a-b-c, ♪ ♪ 1-2-3 baby you and me, girl. ♪ a-b-c, it's easy as 1-2-3, ♪ as simple... ♪ oh, 1-2-3 baby you and me, yeah. ♪ it's easy to be your favorite character with target. gives you nexium level protection for frequent heartburn all day and all night. try nexium 24hr, the #1 prescribed acid-blocking brand,
11:47 pm
and get all day, all night protection. nexium level protection. sure, when pigs fly. ♪ take it. good boy! ♪ introducing the samsung galaxy s6 active only from at&t. tested to withstand pretty much anything life throws your way. switch to at&t and get a $300 credit
11:48 pm
with eligible purchase and trade-in.
11:49 pm
♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: armie hammer and music from big talk is on the way. i don't know if you heard roger goodell announce he's standing firm on the four-game suspension on tom brady from the new england patriots. [cheers and applause] he'll not reduce his sentence. those two over in the corner are upset, but that's about it. the league said brady obstructed their deflategate investigation because he instructed his assistant to destroy his cell phone shortly before he was to meet with investigators.
11:50 pm
i instruct my aides to destroy my cell phone all the time. he allegedly didn't want them to see texts he sent to equipment managers. maybe he didn't want them to see pictures of his wife or himself on his phone. we thought this would be a good question. we went on the street and asked people, do you have any nude pictures of yourself on your phone. and this is how it's going to go. we'll see someone introduce him or herself, and based solely on that introduction, we will decide if he or she has nude portraits on the phone. let's go. >> my name is melissa, and i am from gainesville, florida. >> do you have any naked pictures of yourself on your phone? >> jimmy: does melissa from gainesville? [cheers and applause] one woman says no. let's find out. >> yes. >> you do? >> yes, i do. >> tasteful or weird? >> of course, very tasteful.
11:51 pm
>> can we see them? >> absolutely not. >> jimmy: one good decision. next? >> i'm meagan from san diego. >> do you have any nude pictures on your phone? >> no! >> jimmy: i think most of the audience says no. but there are quite a few yeses. the answer is? >> no. >> you have never taken a nude picture? >> no. >> why not? >> i guess i'm a prude. >> jimmy: next up? >> i'm from australia. >> all right, paul, do you have any nude pictures of yourself on your phone? >> jimmy: i say we have paul from australia. does very pictures of his land down under on the telephone? >> couple, yes. >> may we see them? >> no. it was a bit cold that day. i'm not going to show you that one. >> jimmy: you'd think that beard
11:52 pm
would keep everything warm. our next phone owner is? >> i'm william vail. >> do you have any nude pictures of yourself on your phone? >> jimmy: all right, does william have nude pictures on his phone? most everyone says yes. >> no, i don't. i don't have a phone. >> do you keep your nude pictures anywhere else then? >> no. i don't have any nude pictures. >> you're too modest to do something like that? >> no. i'm old-fashioned. >> jimmy: real southern gentleman there. you can tell by the bedazzled hat that says sex ey hat that says sex e on it. >> jamie, do you have any naked pictures of yourself on your phone? >> jimmy: does jamie lynn from vancouver? all right. the verdict is? >> yeah. maybe one or two. >> wow. okay, i'm going to, can we have your phone for something else
11:53 pm
unrelated? >> no. it's not related, it's a different thing. >> you just want to borrow it for a minute to make a call? >> yeah. just to make a call or whatever. >> no. >> jimmy: that ended in a revaining order. we should probably start giving background checks to our employees who work the microphone out there. who else do we have out there. >> rasheen, out of las vegas. >> do you have any nude pictures of yourself on your phone? >> jimmy: does marrsheen? >> of course! >> can we see them? >> hell, no. you got some money? >> jimmy: he's a businessman first. and finally? >> i'm gerald from long beach. >> do you have any nude pictures of yourself on your phone? >> jimmy: does gerald from long beach have nude photographs of himself on the phone? pretty much everyone says yes, a couple of nos, let's find out. >> possibly.
11:54 pm
>> yes or no? >> it's possible. might be. i may or may not >> that sounds like yes to me. >> there have been in the past. >> all right. what kind of pictures? >> well, the normal [ bleep ] pics. >> jimmy: the normal stuff. [cheers and applause] thanks for sharing that with us, gerald. apologies to gerald's grand kids. >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from big talk, natasha leggero is here, and we'll be right back with armie hammer. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel live brought to you by pizza hut. lots of taste at pizza hut.com. ♪
11:55 pm
♪ this is the ford f-150. and this changes everything. drive a new 2015 ford f-150, the future of tough, for just $249 a month. see your local ford dealer today. all right, first day i look like our lawyer. exactly. why can't i just dress like them? them? they look cool. excuse me! young people! where did you get these looks? old navy. the navy, it's the navy. old navy mom... and how much for the denims? eight dollars. eight? mom please! mom! hunter! hunter! mommy's speaking. all kids stuff is up to 60% off. you're going to be late today hunter, we're going to old navy.
11:56 pm
...a rabbit... ...a rabbit genetically modified and bred with a panther... ...with turbines attached... ...on ice... ...shaved... ...with a...what the?! with the fastest speeds to the most homes, the company that keeps making fast faster is doing it again.
11:57 pm
introducing multi-gig speeds from xfinity. the future of awesome.
11:58 pm
11:59 pm
♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: tonight, from the new show on comedy central called "another period," natasha leggero is here. then, we ran out of time for them last week, but i promise it won't happen again, from las vegas, nevada, their album is called "straight in no kissin'" big talk from the samsung stage. [cheers and applause] this is the band helmed by ronnie vannucci, who is the drummer from the killers. tomorrow night, christina applegate will be here, rick springfield will be here and we'll hear music from tyler the creator. and on thursday, jason bateman, nicole richie, and music from stephen marley. >> jimmy: you know our first guest from "the social network," "j. edgar" and "the lone ranger" too.
12:00 am
he is one of the tallest actors in america who teams up next with superman in "the man from u.n.c.l.e." it opens in theaters august 14th please say hello to armie hammer. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: welcome! [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: i hope this is not a new question, but do you, and be honest, do you have any nude pictures of yourself on your telephone? >> i was hoping, i was watching the opening monologue, i was hoping you weren't going to ask me this. i found out today i have nude pictures on my phone. i went to get my haircut, this is a special occasion. and the hairdresser said i a daughter, do you have pictures of your daughter? and i get to pictures of my
12:01 am
daughter sitting in the sink and she's having the time of her life. look how cute she is, and after showing her these pictures for about 30 seconds, i noticed i'm standing fully nude in the mirror of this bathroom as i'm showing her these pictures, and as quickly and a casually aski i said, anyway, you get the picture. i don't know if she noticed anything or if she was enough of a lady not to say something. >> jimmy: on one hand you hope she didn't notice. but on the other hand, if she didn't notice -- >> it's bad news for me. i know, i know. it's, yeah. >> jimmy: maybe next time, super cuts, you know? >> yeah. >> jimmy: the last time you were here you had what i deemed a crazy idea. you were planning to go on a cross country trip with a bunch of your buddies on vespas. it sounds out sounding
12:02 am
masculine. then the word vespas comes in. i didn't think you were going to do did, but you really did do this. >> you're right and you're wrong. i had this idea. it was a stupid idea. >> jimmy: a stupid idea. >> the dumbest. >> jimmy: you thought it was a great idea the last time you were here. >> halfway through i was like, this is a brilliant idea, everyone on the trip wanted to kill me. there were about it's or nine riders and another guy on a bike with a camera and another support vehicle following us. so it wasn't like we completely out there on our own, but, i mean, three of the people had never ridden motorcycles before the trip in their life. >> jimmy: and they still haven't, by the way. >> you're totally right. it left some serious scars on people. they're done. i know people who still have never gotten on a bike. >> jimmy: these are scooters that you guys were on fbl. i think we have a picture of
12:03 am
this. there you guys are, on scooters. we might get run over here. >> this was, we got, well, we started in l.a. we started it at vespa of sherman oaks. >> jimmy: that's where all great journeys begin. >> naturally. and we were like, you know what? first some, joshua tree. that's two and a half hours by car. on vespa, that will be a good first ride. it took us about 13 1/2 hours, and it got down to 14 degrees the first night. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> this is southern california still. we get to joshua tree. it's 3:00 in the morning at this point. there were multiple rules, you couldn't pay for lodging, which included campgrounds. >> jimmy: whose rules were these? >> these were my stupid rules.
12:04 am
you couldn't go to any chain establishment. you couldn't stay anywhere but outside. you could only take what you could carry or trap to your vespa. weer owe o we're outside of joshua tree. so we find a spot like way outside of joshua tree, and it's freezing. so any water that people have is ice at this point. it's rough. and everybody gets off and parks their bike and looks at me and kind of goes, what the [ bleep ] did you do? why are we doing this? this is the dumbest idea. and, you know, that was really the trend, all the way through until we made it to the end. >> jimmy: you're like a cult leader. this is ridiculous. your wife didn't go on this trip, did she? >> my wife wouldn't have gone on this if you had paid any amount of money in the world. you guys sound stupid. you guys go be stupid. she met us halfway in san
12:05 am
antonio and halfway to the florida keys. she doesn't want a trip to the florida keys, why not. >> jimmy: when you finish in the florida keys, do you then just like drive the vespas into the sea and never get on them again? >> if we didn't have to return the vespas, i'm not only certain there are people who would have driven them into the sea, i'm sure there are people who would have lit them on fire. a lot of hatred. >> jimmy: that's a long way to go on a vespa. >> it was 12 hours a day for 21 days. >> jimmy: did you do anything bikerish, like anything crazy or anything like that? >> yeah. things got weird. you have a group of guys crossing the country, staying in the middle of nowhere and all that. i mean, we had some close calls. like at one point, we stayed outside of yuma, arizona, and we were like, now we've got to get from yuma to phoenix, but there's no main road except for an interstate that gets you from
12:06 am
yuma to phoenix. so everyone was like, what do we do? we got this, we're fine. everybody pulls out google maps, and they're zooming out. they go, it looks like all desert from here to phoenix, but it looks like there's roads. like it doesn't say road, but it looks like there's trails. i think we can make this. so everyone kind of starts, and we get off the pavement onto a dirt roadage it's hard packed and everyone's riding and they're like, yeah. this is the adventure, like we're really owning this. all of a sudden the road gets a little softer and the vespa goes like this oh, i'm cool. then does one of those, what the hell. and then all of a sudden the road gets so soft, you can't sit, you have to walk next to your vespa as you're pushing it up a do you know. we thought we going to die until as we're pushing through the desert this truck that's all white and green and very intim
12:07 am
dating with lights on comes flying at us out of the middle of nowhere, and we're just like, oh, my god, it's the boarder patrol, like what have we done? so he basically comes up and goes, what the hell are you guys doing? sir, we're crossing the country on vespas. he goes no, no, no, what are you doing? what drugs are you running? honestly, if you want to pull up your phone, it's the whole thing. and he looks it up, and he's giving us the eye, he goes, hey, that's, you guys are crazy. it's like, what the hell are you doing in the middle of the desert, he goes, man, i'm really glad i stopped you. us too. and he says you see that hill there? and it was, i mean, maybe double the distance across hollywood boulevard. that hill right there is mexico, and if you would have gotten any closer, i wouldn't have been able to let you come back.
12:08 am
so we basically were like, ah, good story. just don't search the bikes. but whatever you want to do. and he ends up saying to us, he goes, you guys want to see something cool? and we're still nervous at this point that we're being sort of detained by the border patrol, and we go, yeah, ofs or, of course, anything you want to show us. and i said, i'll shoe you some roads that only old drug dealers use, we use them. yeah, great. i'm going to start driving, and you guys drive on my tire tracks and we'll be able to get you guys out of here. and that's how we ended up getting out of the desert from yuma to phoenix. >> jimmy: you are easily the worst travel agent ever. his movie is called the man from uncle. we'll be right back.
12:09 am
sure, when pigs fly. ♪ take it. good boy! but they each have to ride in a different vehicle. the chevrolet traverse has a 5-star overall vehicle score for safety. the honda pilot does not. which child goes in which vehicle? ♪ how does a mom make a choice knowing that? i mean... just kidding. we can all go in the traverse. yesss. chevrolet traverse. with available active safety technologies to help avoid
12:10 am
frontal collisions and drifting across lanes. that's awesome! i like it. it's an olive garden first, but it won't last long! create your own tour of italy, starting at $12.99. choose three of our nine most-loved dishes to enjoy on one plate, served with salad and breadsticks. hurry in to create your tour at olive garden! hurry in to create your tour so what can you tell me about your new offer? well, right now you can get... i'll take it. uh, well there's sold! how bout the... stop drilling, you struck oil. there's a sign behind me isn't there? i like it, but can the sign do this? that one can. i forgot about that one. get ipad mini 2 now for $199.99 when you buy any iphone on at&t next is thno, it's, uh, breyers gelato indulgences. you really wouldn't like it. it's got caramel and crunchy stuff. i like caramel
12:11 am
and crunchy stuff. breyers gelato indulgences... it's way beyond ice cream. weyes you.u. to try ham, topped with pulled pork, topped with bacon. yep, we double dog dare ya to try the triple hog dare ya. with refill after refill of fries. they're free. only at applebee's. a new test with pwe rented this resort, hid smelly objects all over each villa and plugged in febreze. then real people were asked to stay for a long weekend.
12:12 am
would they smell anything? the room itself was like [sniff] ahhh. feels like someone has pumped fresh oxygen into the room. on the last day we revealed everything. oooooohwoww. we were sitting right on it. febreze is stunningly effective. continuously eliminate odors for up to 45 days break out the febreze you plug in [inhale + exhale mnemonic] and breathe happy. to the superhero legends, and the rubik's bros. to the sweet talkers, the sky walkers, and the dance-off pros. ♪ yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah find your pack. be yourself. kohl's.
12:13 am
12:14 am
♪ >> does this mean anything to you? >> this is a centrifuge. >> i am not staying here! >> where are you going to go? >> swimming! ♪ >> ah!
12:15 am
>> jimmy: that is "the man from u.n.c.l.e." i tell you something. i know most movies are not that much fun to make. it looked like that was a fun movie to make. was it a fun movie to make? >> oh, it was the best. every movie's fun to make because you're getting to do what you love. it's a fun job. you're not doing anything serious. you say a line someone gives you, you wear clothes someone else gives you. >> jimmy: you get to wear makeup. >> yeah. come on, but in this case, you're doing a guy with guy richie who everybody has seen a guy richie movie, they're familiar with his sense of style and what he brings to the movie, but what you don't realize is that same sense of fun and style he brings to his movies he also brings to his personal life. when you're sitting on set you're sitting in like a yurt with beautiful chairs. and then you go down to the amal
12:16 am
any coast and shooting in naples and rome. and they try to hand you lunch on a styrofoam tray. and he'll go, what the cuss is this? love, you're not eating that. and he'll go over to a local fisherman, what did you catch today? [ speaking in foreign language ] we'll take that and that and that. and he'll have a white table cloth put down and wine. >> jimmy: he sounds like he's much better at planning trips than you are. >> he would have liked the vespa trip on the first day. >> jimmy: tell me about this. i love fly-fishing. what's going on in this photograph here? >> that's hans zimmer's has first of all and guy richie's place. he's got like a country place. >> jimmy: that's in a treatmest?
12:17 am
>> yeah, under the bridge. >> jimmy: what kind of a fish is that, is that a char? it's pretty big. like if you showed that to your hair fistylis hairstylist, she would definitely notice it. >> yeah, there's no hiding that one. >> jimmy: that doesn't sound good, by the way. >> so the guy's got a house in the country. here in the states, if you go, i got a house in the country, oh, it's a ranch, it's dirty and no amenities. so you dress like a ranch. mi mean boots and jeans. and i show up at his country house and he says what are you wearing? this is the english countryside. there were so many jokes at my expense at how i dressed like i was going to a ranch. the next time, said i want the goofy hat. >> jimmy: did he like that
12:18 am
outfit when you showed up in this? >> no. >> jimmy: you really can't win. >> you're wearing that and no one likes it. >> jimmy: the important thing is you had fun. >> jimmy: armie hammer! "the man from u.n.c.l.e." opens in theaters august 14th. we'll be back with natasha leggero. [cheers and applause] ♪ we help you make all kinds of connections. connections you almost miss.
12:19 am
and ones you never thought you'd make. we help connect where you are. to places you never thought you'd go. this, is why we travel. and why we continue to create new technology to connect you to the people and places that matter. you need to eat this special. ♪ start your day... with 150 nourishing calories in a bowl of special k. eat special, feel special. ♪ come on, come on, come on, let me tell you what it's all about. ♪ ♪ a-b-c, it's easy as 1-2-3. as simple as do-re-mi, a-b-c, ♪ ♪ 1-2-3 baby you and me, girl. ♪ a-b-c, it's easy as 1-2-3, ♪ as simple... ♪ oh, 1-2-3 baby you and me, yeah. ♪
12:20 am
it's easy to be your favorite character with target. ♪bend the rules of what'st ♪ possible with the epic hp x360. why do you think the ripples make agrabs more?? it's the cleanripple texture. now, do you feel so clean that you would go commando? why not! how do you feel? awesome! cottonelle has cleanripple texture so you're clean enough to go commando.
12:21 am
and unlike most smartphones, we design the hardware part and the software part.
12:22 am
so the hardware part makes the most of the software part. and the software part makes the most of the hardware part. yep. when you design the whole phone, all the parts work together as one amazing part. if it's not an iphone, it's not an iphone. ♪
12:23 am
[cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: our next guest is a very funny woman whom you know from her great appearances on the comedy central roasts. now she has her very own show on that very network. watch "another period" tuesday nights at 10:30 on comedy central. please say hello to natasha leggero. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: you know, i want to say, of all the very funny people on the comedy central roast, you're one of the very
12:24 am
funniest. you've done, what, two of them, right? >> i did the justin bieber and james franco. i loved doing the one with justin bieber, because i got to smoke a joint with snoop. he was smokin' a joint during the whole thing. >> jimmy: it's part of his thing. he really can't even, it's his thing. you can't challenge it. he smokes pot, and that's that. and the law has to work around him. >> the law has to work around him. >> jimmy: he's like willie nelson, he just does it. will you be part of this year's roast of bill cosby? i'm announcing that tonight. did you befriend anyone besides snoop on the dais? >> martha stewart was great. >> jimmy: she was high, right? >> she was not high. anyway, she sent me, as a gift, some sheets, because everyone
12:25 am
was making fun of like having sex on her linens, so she, like, sent linens and was like do what you want with these, and it was very funny. >> jimmy: how did she know what size your bed was, did she guess? >> i threw them away -- no, i didn't throw them away. i told the cleaning lady to cut them up and scrub the floors with them. no, no, that's not true. >> jimmy: just as martha would have wanted it. >> but martha invited knee hme garden in the letter. i keep e-mailing her assistant, trying to get into her garden and they tell me she's gone. >> jimmy: why do you want to go to her garden? >> because it's peony season. i'm sure it's impressive. >> jimmy: i feel like she probably doesn't have a garden, it's like one they take pictures
12:26 am
for the magazine and she pops in in her light denim shirt once in a while. >> her chambray onesie. >> jimmy: i heart you're getting married. to whom are you engaged. >> thank you. thanks for clapping, audience. [ applause ] >> jimmy: they want to make sure you're making the right decision. >> he's a comedian, mowshy caster. >> jimmy: how long have you been dating? >> three years. >> jimmy: that's good. >> is that a good enough amount of time? i am so nervous. i don't want to plan a wedding. >> jimmy: that's where you get martha stewart to help you. that's where she's perfect. >> but yeah, so i'm so nervous. my family's coming out. and they're all going to get together. and like my parents haven't talked in 20 years, and they're all going to be in my yard. >> jimmy: are they going to stay with you, your parents?
12:27 am
>> no! but like the last time my family was together was at my nana's funeral. and i live in rockford, or i'm from rockford, illinois. my brother who lives in a van that he put an address on, he, in rockford, he used to live there. he, during the eulogy or whatever it's, yeah, like when they're talking, he just goes [ bleep ] love you, nana! >> jimmy: no, he did not. >> so i have no idea what's going to happen at the wedding. >> jimmy: something bad is going to happen, yeah. is he going to drive the van out to the wedding? >> he wants to. >> jimmy: he wants someplace to stay, then, that's good. >> no, he just has to park it around the corner. >> jimmy: and is your fiance, does he have a crazy family as well? >> his family is pretty cool. >> jimmy: that's good.
12:28 am
>> they're actually deaf. but they're good. >> jimmy: even better. >> that's actually perfect. >> jimmy: i'm glad i brought that up. that's true, isn't it? >> yeah. i minean his mother, not the whe family. but his mother and louie get along great. maybe i could put them -- >> jimmy: no, do not put his mother in the van with your brother. now this show of yours, which is very funny. it's a strange combination of ideas. >> i know. it's another period. it's not about my period. it takes place -- it's a reality show that takes place in 1902. >> jimmy: a period comedy. >> so's basically like if the kardashians moved into down at any a-- downton abbey. >> jimmy: what about it is true? >> it's insane. if you go to newport and take these housing tours you hear about these people in tonight's episode, ben stiller who's
12:29 am
playing charles ponzi, the inventor of the ponzi scheme, we give him the gift of a child who wears a turban around his head and is a whipping boy. consuela vanderbilt, like anderson cooper's great, great grandmother? they went to orphan and gave it to her, and not to be part of the family, just to be her servant, and they put it in this costume and this child had to wait on her. but this is a human being! >> jimmy: yours is named taboo in the show, right? >> taboo. >> jimmy: ben stiller is in it? >> ben stiller is in it. >> jimmy: is it fun to get into these big, crazy outfits? it seems to be a nightmare to me. >> i love it, but, you know, yeah. >> jimmy: everyone else is mad? >> everyone else is mad.
12:30 am
the microphone people are mad, what do you call them, the sound people? >> jimmy: yeah, the business, sometimes audio if we get real fancy. congratulations on your show. i hope you make it to martha stewart's garden. >> me too! martha, call me! >> jimmy: natasha leggero! "another period" airs tuesdays at 10:30 pm on comedy central. and we shall return with music from big talk. ♪ >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung.
12:31 am
12:32 am
>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i feel like suzanne summers. >> jimmy: i want to thank all my guests and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. nightline is next, but first, this is the album "straight in, no kissin" here with the song "i've been sentimental lately," big talk.
12:33 am
♪ ♪ ♪ i wrote a song hey can you believe it i wrote a song just for you ♪ and baby you take it or leave it i don't care really what you choose ♪ ♪ i remember we were so lovey lovey lovey then you'd bleed me to deceive the lovey-dovey ♪ ♪ you put away your love babe so i see through to you ♪ ♪ well i got a better place for you i got a better idea you sit and laugh ♪ ♪ come on lady careful what you say don't leave me too long honey ♪ ♪ ain't it just your way we could move the needle baby you can see it's true ♪ ♪ i've been sentimental lately do all of this for you ♪
12:34 am
♪ ain't that your style though to deceive the lovey dovey ♪ ♪ now you leave me stuck here with the ghost of your perfume ♪ ♪ and you can call me when you hear it no one ever wrote a song for me ♪ ♪ ah baby you just walk me into the scene of the crime ♪ ♪ you didn't come all that way just for me ♪ ♪ oh well i got a better place for you i got a better idea you sit and laugh ♪ ♪ come on lady careful what you say don't leave me too long honey ain't it just your way ♪ ♪ we could move the needle baby you can see it's true ♪ ♪ i've been sentimental lately
12:35 am
i do all of this for you ♪ ♪ come on lady careful what you say don't leave me too long honey ♪ ♪ ain't it just your way we could move the needle baby you can see it's true ♪ ♪ i've been sentimental lately i do all of this for you ♪ ♪ ♪
12:36 am
♪ come on lady careful what you say don't leave me too long honey ♪ ♪ ain't it just your way we could move the needle baby i leave it up to you ♪ ♪ i've been sentimental lately i do all of this for you ♪ ♪ come on lady careful what you say don't leave me too long honey ♪ ♪ ain't it just your way we could move the needle baby i leave it up to you ♪ ♪ i've been sentimental lately i do all of this for you ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]
12:37 am
♪ this is "nightline." tonight, the angry backlash against the minnesota dentist who killed this lion for sport, cecil, king of the pride. how he's defending his actions tonight in the face of public outcry. underage model plucked from poverty, now strutting on the catwalk at the age of 14 as the face of dior, posing in barely there sheer outfits, and her age making headlines. in a fashion industry that glorifies youth and beauty, how young is too young, but first,

20 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on